Okay. This is what happens.
I suffer from mental illnesses. And I will for the rest of my life. There is no cure. There isn’t anything I can do to “snap out of it.” There isn’t anything I can do to make it go away. There is no magic pill or magic combination of pills to make it go away forever. And, in all honesty, no amount of talk therapy will take it all away, either.
All I can do is manage it as best I can.
I’ve been back on the salt for a week now, in combination with the wellness and the calm.
While I am not 100% back to normal….everything that was getting me down has been alleviated.
I am no longer drowning in that turbulent emotional sea that I had been in before.
No, if anything, it’s more like I’m adrift, safe within a life raft now, on a slightly calmer sea. It gets quite choppy every now and then. And the sun tries to come out from behind the clouds. Sometimes it breaks through, sometimes it doesn’t, and sometimes it almost does.
Well, it’s certainly better than drowning.
Once again, I came very close to saying those five words: “I can’t do this anymore.” Which, if you recall, I have found is my equivalent of saying “I want to die.”
But I’m not in that place anymore.
I suppose that’s as good a start as any.
Speaking of starts….
Now that I’m back on the salt, that also means I’m back to twice-a-year blood draws to check levels.
My first blood draw is first thing in the morning tomorrow morning.
Here’s hoping they get it with the first stick. Because I do not want to be stuck again.
In other news, I’m currently working on a video blog post, for the one I love. If all goes well….well, we’ll see what happens.
But more on that when we come to it.
That’s all for now.
I’ll try to do better next post.