Ladies and gentlemen……..welcome to hell

When I woke up this morning, I wasn’t sure I wanted to.

As the famous “Star Wars” quote goes, “I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”

Well, you all know what yesterday was.

I had been avoiding the television and major news websites all day yesterday.

Because I really, truly did not want to know.

So, when I woke up this morning….

….I could think of only one way with which to break the news to myself.

My dad has Amazon Echo. It’s a nifty little gadget that can bring you news, sports, weather, it can play music, it can answer any question you might have.

The voice of Amazon Echo is ‘Alexa.’

So, I woke up, and padded downstairs to my dad’s living room.

“Alexa?” I asked.

The little blue light went on. She was listening.

“Who is the President of the United States?” Dreading the response I was going to get.

Because I just had this feeling….

“The President of the United States is Barack Obama.”

Okay, she has a point. Technically, Obama is still in office until January.

But that wasn’t what I meant.

“Alexa?” I asked again.

Again, the little blue light went on.

“Who is the newly elected President of the United States?” Really dreading the response I was going to get.

Because I just had this feeling….

“Hmm,” she responded. “I cannot seem to find the answer to the question.”

I almost laughed out loud. But I didn’t.

Instead I said, right out loud, “In your case, honey, I think ignorance is bliss.”

Went back upstairs. Took a shower.

It was during my shower that it occurred to me that I had asked Alexa the wrong question. And the right question to ask almost immediately sprang into my head. And this time, I was certain there would be no escaping the answer.

Finished my shower. Got dressed. Gathered up everything I would need to be downstairs in the living room for the day – just my laptop and purse; it’s still NaNoWriMo, and I’m still writing (140,000 words and counting, if you were curious).

Set up shop for the day. Went back to where the Amazon Echo was sitting.

Moment of truth, I thought.

“Alexa?”

Again, the little blue light went on.

I paused. Then, “Who won the 2016 presidential election?” Really almost couldn’t stand to ask that, because I was truly dreading the response I was going to get.

Because I had a feeling….

She didn’t hesitate. “Sorry. I cannot find the answer to the question.”

Now I did laugh out loud. And said it again – “Oh, ignorance is definitely bliss in your case, honey!”

So, before I started writing for the day, I went online. Avoiding any news media sites for the moment.

Logged into my email. Checked my email.

Now it was really the moment of truth.

Because each and every time I log out of my email, it automatically redirects me to MSN (seeing as how I have Hotmail). And by getting to the MSN page, I would finally learn the truth.

Took a breath. Then logged out of my email.

Waited for the redirect.

Saw it with my own eyes.

……………………………………………………………………………………

……………….(stared at the headline in disbelief)………………………

……………….(blinked once….twice….)……………………………………

….Oh, fucking hell….

….and then I simply thought, I really thought we were better than this.

But, unfortunately, it is the truth. And, to paraphrase Jane Austen, it is a truth which must be universally acknowledged.

Donald Trump is the newly elected President of the United States.

And the Apocalypse is now upon us.

Like I said, I really thought we were better than this.

trump-money-proof

That image says it all – the real truth which must be universally acknowledged.

So! Buckle up, ladies and gentlemen!

And welcome to hell.

We as a nation hope that you enjoy the ride.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s