A questionnaire, and a “secret”

You’ll have to forgive the….well, I guess, abruptness that may be apparent in this post. I’ve not had the best past couple days, as you may know if you read my previous posts.

But I thought I’d just do this, just to do it.

And please please please do watch the little video at the end. I didn’t know about it until I saw it mentioned by several other people, and it made me cry some more.



Are you “with” the very last person you kissed?
~ No. Not anymore. It was my fault. Let’s just leave it at that.

Ever dated/kissed someone with the name Casey, Tyler, Ryan, Jordan, Colton, Rebecca, Samantha, Lauren, Taylor, or Ashley?
~ Nope, to all.

Was your last kiss standing up, sitting down, or lying down?
~ Standing up.

Are you happy with the choices you’ve made?
~ No. Not all of them.

Are you excited for anything?
~ Not really at the moment.

Do you hate the last person you kissed?
~ No. I could never hate Johnny. Like I said, Johnny is the best thing that ever happened to me, the best person I could have ever met. I wish him nothing but the very best, and I will always love Johnny.

You’re stuck in an elevator with one of your worst enemies. What do you do?
~ Nothing.

Will this weekend be a good one?
~ Depends.

Are you mad at someone right now?
~ Just myself.

Do you like to listen to the radio in the car?
~ Sure.

Do you sleep with a fan on?
~ Not at present, though I think this weekend at the store, I will purchase a small fan, just to have it running as like white noise, so that way I can fall asleep. I’ve been having trouble sleeping the past couple weeks.

How is your hair right now?
~ I don’t really care.

Have you ever broken up with someone for someone else?
~ No.

How many windows are open on your computer?
~ 3.

How tall are you?
~ 5-feet, 4.5-inches.

Is something bothering you?
~ Yup. Lots of things. Don’t really feel like talking about them right now, though.

Have you ever taken a shower with anyone before?
~ Yes.

Have you ever laughed at something that wasn’t meant to be funny?
~ Probably, but I don’t remember.

Have you ever told someone of the opposite sex “Fuck you”?
~ No, but I had ever opportunity to do so; this was back in the bullying days.

Do you like to cuddle?
~ Yes.

Have you done anything sneaky lately?
~ No.

Is your hair clean?
~ Does it matter?

Last night, did you go to sleep smiling?
~ No.

Were you happy when you woke up today?
~ No.

What are you drinking right now?
~ Nothing.

Do you wear your seatbelt in the car?
~ All the time.

Does someone have feelings for you?
~ I don’t really know anymore. I hope so, though.

Have you ever been cheated on?
~ No.

Are you hard to please?
~ No, not really.

What are you craving right now?
~ A hug!

How are you feeling right now?
~ Not good. Depressed. I’m actually crying right now, typing this. Depression.

What are you sick of?
~ Depression!

Are you missing anyone/something?
~ Yes!

Relationship to the last person you called?
~ The last person I called was my mother, so I’d be her daughter.

Could you date someone shorter than you?
~ N/A.

Is there anybody you just wish would fall of the planet?
~ No. I wouldn’t wish that on anybody.

Do you wear glasses?
~ Yes.

Where did you sleep last night?
~ On the air mattress.

Do you straighten your hair?
~ No.

What color shirt are you wearing?
~ Purple. It’s actually my nightshirt.

Do you have a best friend?
~ Yes, in Johnny.

Do you wish you had the chance to go back in time and change something now?
~ YES!

Who is the last person you got a text from?
~ Johnny.

Are you excited for winter?
~ That remains to be seen.

When are you at your happiest?
~ Happiness seems a bit far lately. Ask me again sometime.

Is there anything you wish you did today? Why haven’t you done it?
~ I wish I had a job, so that way I could be working. As far as today, I wish I would have gone out and danced in the rain, like I wanted to. But then, I didn’t want to soak the carpet when I got back inside, so I stayed inside.

Do you prefer to spend your time indoors or outdoors?
~ I like both.

What were you doing before you started this survey?
~ Crying. Still crying.

Can you honestly say that you love yourself?
~ Don’t know anymore.

How many people have you kissed?
~ Other than family members on the cheek, just Johnny.

Do you just feel awkward when you dance?
~ Of course. I have no rhythm.

Do you think you spend too much time feeling upset?
~ Probably. Par for the course with depression.

Is there anyone you would seriously punch right now if you had the chance?
~ Donald Trump.

Do you own a pair of Uggs?
~ No.

What are your plans for tomorrow?
~ Look for more jobs, maybe make another blog post. Try to find a Friday Funny….maybe.

Has the person you have feelings for ever told you that you’re attractive?
~ Yes, but that was then. This is now.

Can you get over people easily?
~ Currently, no.

Do you believe that there are certain circumstances where cheating is okay?
~ No.

How was your weekend?
~ I don’t remember what happened last weekend.

Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you?
~ No.

How do you feel right now?
~ Not good. Depressed. I’m actually crying right now, typing this. Depression.

Do you hide your feelings or show them?
~ I show them. I have always shown them. I’m not weak, okay? It takes a stronger person to show their feelings rather than to hide them. Showing your feelings takes a kind of strength. Not that I’ve always worn my heart on my sleeve, as the saying goes, but I am not the kind of person to hide how I feel.

Do you like to have long hair or short hair?
~ Medium.

What is the last thing you cooked today?
~ Fish sticks. But then I wasn’t really all that hungry, so even though I ate them, I didn’t want to eat them. You know?

What do you always take with you?
~ Everything, metaphorically speaking. I have a lot of baggage.

Last person you drove around in a car with?
~ Dad.

Do you think relationships are hard?
~ Yes. But I’d rather be in one than not in one. That doesn’t matter now, seeing as how I am no longer in one. But I’d still rather be in one.

What are your plans for this weekend?
~ Don’t know. It’s Labor Day weekend this weekend, as Dad reminded me today. I’d forgotten all about Labor Day.

Any friends who are constantly venting about their significant other?
~ No. I don’t have any friends, except for Johnny.

Have you ever been ice-skating?
~ Yes. Best Christmas Eve ever.

Does the sound of rain at night help you sleep?
~ Yes.

Have you ever seen an albino person in person?
~ No.

Do you like Fuze drinks?
~ No.

Did the end of “Hamilton” make you sad?
~ Have never seen “Hamilton.”

Have you ever worn a pair of scrubs?
~ No.

Do you obsessively apply lip-gloss or lip balm?
~ No. It’s reasonably applied.

Anything in your room that you’re hiding from your parents or someone else?
~ No.

Do you think you’d have what it takes to shoot someone if you had to protect yourself?
~ No.

What’s your most noticeable flaw?
~ Everything.

And what’s your best feature?
~ Don’t really have one.

Have you ever walked into a massive cobweb?
~ Yes.

When you can tell that someone’s lying, do you call them out on it?
~ Not usually.

Have you ever hallucinated?
~ No.

Do you find serial killers fascinating?
~ No.

Do you like musicals?
~ Some.

Is your hair damaged?
~ Probably.

Do you live with anyone that you try to avoid at all costs?
~ No.

Who was the last person you threw out of your life?
~ I haven’t.

Are you wearing socks?
~ Not at present.

Do you regret something you did yesterday?
~ Not yesterday.

When was the last time you cried?
~ I’m crying right now.

Why were you crying?
~ Too many thoughts.

What’s the last thing you ate?
~ A cookie.

What kind of bottoms are you wearing?
~ My pajama bottoms.  They match my pajama top, in case you were wondering.

What do you hear right now?
~ Nothing except the keys clacking as I type.

How many hours did you sleep last night?
~ Don’t remember. Perhaps that means I did actually sleep last night….

Is something bothering you right now?
~ Yes. Too much, in fact.

In the past week, have you gotten sick?
~ No. But I do currently have cramps, as it is that time of month. TMI, for sure, but, hey, the question was asked.

In the past week, have you felt stupid?
~ Yep.

In the past week, have you got your hair cut?
~ No.

What were you doing at 9 AM this morning?
~ Curling up on the sofa for a nap. True story.

In the past week, have you felt sad?
~ All week.

Has someone disappointed you recently?
~ No.

Do you think relationships are ever really worth it?
~ Yes.

If you could pack up and move, would you?
~ Yes. In December – that might be my next and perhaps final move.

Do you hate when people smoke around you?
~ Yes.

Who have you texted in the last 24 hours?
~ Johnny and Dad.  In fact, Johnny and I are texting right now.

So ends that questionnaire.

In closing, I leave you with this, a “secret,” courtesy of the late great Gene Wilder as the Fox from the 1974 movie “The Little Prince.” Like I said, I knew nothing about this particular movie until I saw several others mention it after Wilder’s passing. Only just today, I gathered up the courage to watch the relevant section of the movie that featured the Fox, and, like I said, it made me cry. So.

But the “secret” is true:


I’ll try to do better next post.


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