It’s not an end. It’s a new beginning

Hi, all.

Such a long story has been written over the past four months, I can’t even begin to tell you about everything.

I’ll just get to the heart of things.

Remember back in January, Johnny took on a traveling assignment in Texas? Well, at the conclusion of that assignment, he accepted another one, out in Gardnerville, Nevada.

And I went with him.

Yes, I basically spent the entire month of April in tears, weighing the pros and cons of going or not going with Johnny. I almost backed out a couple of times.

But the whole while, my heart was telling me to go with him. Because my future was with Johnny.

That is what I believed.

So we lived in Gardnerville for three months, and they were the most wonderful three months of my life (with the exception of I was unemployed for those three months, boo, hiss). Once again, I can’t even begin to tell you everything about it.

When Johnny’s assignment in Gardnerville was close to wrapping up, he debated about whether to abandon travel nursing and settle permanently in Henderson, Nevada, or whether to take on one more travel assignment, preferably somewhere in California.

He chose to take on another travel assignment.

And he got one, in San Francisco.

His parents live near San Francisco, in Alameda.

You see where I’m going with this?

In Gardnerville, for the first month we were there, we were living in a hotel week to week. But that proved to be too cramped for us, and it wasn’t a hotel room with a kitchenette, so we couldn’t prepare full-blown meals. So after a month of hotel living, we rented an apartment, complete with full kitchen, and it was the best thing.

For Johnny’s San Francisco assignment, to save on rent (as rent is so exorbitant in San Francisco), we decided to stay with his parents in Alameda.

And that, unfortunately, is how everything fell apart. Personalities just did not mesh, and I was forewarned that that might happen.

I thought I was ready for it. And I was wrong.

To make a long story short, just this past Tuesday, Johnny and I decided to end our almost-two year relationship.

We’re still friends, make no mistake! Johnny is the best thing that ever happened to me, and I don’t know what I would do if I never saw him again.

But at present, as I type this, I am on a Greyhound bus, bound for Idaho, where I will be staying with my dad until mid-December. (Both Johnny and I agreed that it would be best for all involved if I made a quick and graceful exit from the situation, to keep it from getting any worse.)

At that point, mid-December, I will have figured out whether or not to A) stay in Idaho; B) move back to Iowa; or C) move back to Henderson, Nevada.

At this very moment in time, aboard this Greyhound bus, my heart and gut are telling me to move to Henderson and stay in Henderson.

Why? Because I have it all planned out. I intend to go back to school to become a counselor. I intend to get a good job. I intend to have my own place. I intend to (finally) get my driver’s license (sooner rather than later now).

And I intend to stay close to Johnny, because, like I said, I don’t know what I’d do if I never saw him again.

Also, if I have to be perfectly honest, aside from my family who I love dearly….and please do not take this the wrong way, but….there really is not anything for me in Iowa. I can’t see my future being there. Not now that I have seen some wonders of the world at large.

No. I want to become the person I know I am capable of being. I want to make it on my own.

And I want to continue to be close to Johnny.

Like I said, this all doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface of what, exactly, has happened to me over the past four months, and it’s actually hard to explain it.

But only time (well, and finances) will dictate my future.

And I hope, when it comes time to decide again, I will make the right decision.


So. That’s what’s been going on.

I’ll try to do better next post.


4 thoughts on “It’s not an end. It’s a new beginning

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