This is a questionnaire I found somewhere online.
And it is deep, man! This is some really deep stuff going on here!
Just so you know, I tend to insert myself and my learned life lessons into hypothetical situations like the ones presented below. It’s all my opinion, but maybe I take some stuff too personally? You shall see, I guess.
1. If you could have anyone locked in a room so you could torment them for one day, who would you choose and how would you torment them?
~ I couldn’t do that to anyone, to tell you the truth. Not even to the awful Republican presidential candidates. You know me – I couldn’t hurt a fly!!!
2. Do you feel that children should be sheltered from unhappiness?
~ I wasn’t, and I turned out just fine. I guess kids should be sheltered up to a point. If you can shelter them from, say, a parental fight, that’s one thing. You know, try to keep a united front for their best interests. My parents did that, for the most part. But it doesn’t do any good to try to shield children from, say, a death in the family, or some epic world tragedy (like 9/11), or something like that. Life happens, even to children. Let it. Let it in. Call it all a learning experience. That’s just my humble opinion, though.
3. The children living next door are being horribly abused by their parents. The only way to stop the abuse is to adopt the children and care for them in your home. Would you?
~ I would. But I’m assuming, though, that the abusive parents still live next door? How would I protect the children, then? That’s a hard question, though I would absolutely want to get the children out of the abusive situation. Perhaps it would be a better choice for them to live somewhere far away from the parents, not just next door. You know? Either that, or the parents would put be in jail because of the abuse, and then I could raise the children just fine in my own home. That’s possible.
4. If you could have personally witnessed one event in history, what would you want to have seen?
~ Woodstock. Just because I love music like that. I know I’ve mentioned Live Aid in the past, but I did sort of kind of personally witness Live Aid on television. Thanks, Dad! 🙂
5. What rights should the father have if his unmarried girlfriend wants an abortion?
~ Egad! That’s a strong question! I am all for a woman’s right to choose, BUT if the father is willing to take the child and raise it as his own, without anticipating any help from the mother, then she could possibly have the child and give it up for the father to adopt. You know? Or is that totally stupid of me to think? I wouldn’t get an abortion if my life depended on it. That’s what I would do, at least, see if the father wanted to adopt the baby.
6. Assuming that complete recovery were instantaneous, would you be willing to accept a year of total paralysis below the neck to prevent the otherwise certain extinction of a species of animal?
~ Hmmm. Good question. I would say yes, because I love animals, and all animals and insects (yes, including bees) should be given a chance at life. I’d adapt to my new situation.
7. Would you be willing to have horrible nightmares every night for a year if you would be rewarded with extraordinary wealth?
~ No, thank you. Well, now, would it be enough wealth to cover my therapy bills for life? I wouldn’t want to be any more mentally messed up than I already am, and constant nightmares would do that.
8. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by five years to become extremely attractive? Ten years? Fifteen years?
~ No, no, and no. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, as the saying goes. What’s ugly to one is beautiful to another. And my boyfriend tells me I’m beautiful, so, you know, maybe I am. That makes me attractive enough, in my opinion.
9. Would you enjoy spending a month of solitude in a beautiful natural setting? Food and shelter would be provided, but you would not see another person.
~ Ooo, a retreat! Absolutely! I’m used to such solitude.
10. Would you generally be overdressed or underdressed at a party?
~ I’d be wearing clothes, so I’d be dressed enough. Some clothing nowadays, the amount of skin they show….ugh! Anyway, I’d be middle of the road, dressed just right.
11. If you could wake up tomorrow in the body of someone else currently living, would you do so? Who would you pick?
~ No. I am comfortable in my own skin, and you would not believe how long it took me to be able to say that!
12. Would you have one of your fingers surgically removed if it guaranteed immunity from all major diseases?
~ Hmm. I don’t know. From which hand, would be my question?
13. Have you ever been sexually attracted to a family member or a person of an inappropriate age? How did you deal with it?
~ Ick, no! Never!
14. Have you ever returned an item to a store for a refund after having used it?
~ I personally haven’t, but I know of people who have.
15. Would you like to have a child much more intelligent and attractive than yourself?
~ Who wouldn’t? I’d want the best for my child, and if he/she is smarter and prettier than me, then so be it. Let me put it this way – I hope I wouldn’t turn into a petty jealous mother.
16. If you could have one superpower, which would you choose?
~ Flight, no question. Followed closely by telepathy and telekinesis.
17. What was the most recent movie that made you cry?
~ “Ever After.” Yes, that is the most recent movie that made me cry. I don’t cry often at movies.
18. You can cast any actor no longer alive to play you in a film about your life. Who would you cast in the role?
~ Judy Garland circa “The Wizard of Oz.” I liked her earnestness and sweetness and vulnerability in the role; I could wholly relate to Dorothy. Plus she had brown hair and brown eyes, like me. Only I don’t think I ever saw her wear glasses.
Okay, sure, that’ll work. Thank you, whoever Photoshopped this image!
19. You can cast any actor now alive to play you in a film about your life. Who would you cast in the role?
~ It would have to be someone unknown. Sorry.
20. If you could be any age again for one week, what age would you be?
~ I wouldn’t. Time goes on. I left all my previous ages behind me. Why would I want to revisit them? I’m a better person now than I was then.
21. What is it you like best about your partner’s personality? What do you like the least?
~ That brings up points that I really have not discussed with Johnny yet. I am recusing myself from answering this question, because I would rather Johnny verbally hear it from me first rather than reading it here on the blog. Thank you for understanding.
22. If you could plan a trip anywhere in the world for yourself and your partner, where would you like to go?
~ Taiwan. Johnny and I have actually talked about this. He has family back in Taiwan that he hasn’t seen in a long time, and I am interested in going with him should he decide to go for a visit because I’ve never been to Asia. So, yeah, I’d choose Taiwan.
23. What outfit or article of clothing do you like to see your partner wearing the most?
~ T-shirts. tee hee. Johnny looks good in anything, but T-shirts are the best, because they show off his musculature.
24. What things would you like to know better about your partner?
~ Again, haven’t really discussed that yet with Johnny. Finding out about one another is still ongoing. We are a work in progress.
25. Have you told your partner about all of your past relationships?
~ Yes. I’ve only had the one almost-relationship, with a gentleman named Steve, and I’ve told Johnny about that.
26. Name the most terrifying moment of your life so far.
~ That would be when I attempted suicide, when they pumped my stomach. I thought I’d die then, by choking. Quoting Susanna Kaysen, “It was a good deterrent.”
27. If you wanted to look very sexy, how would you dress?
~ You know, I believe more can be less sometimes. I wouldn’t change the way I dress. I dress comfortably and fully clothed almost all of the time. Not that I’m a Puritan; I enjoy showing a bit of skin sometimes. But only a bit, mind you. Ergo, more is less sometimes.
28. What famous person do other people tell you that you most resemble?
~ No one has ever told me such a thing. In fact, I’d feel sorry for the famous person.
29. What is the strangest thing you have ever eaten?
~ Suckling pig’s leg….or suckling pig’s butt, depending on what you wanted to call it.
30. If you could bring one character to life from your favorite book, who would it be?
~ Hmm. Good question. I’d have to say Mrs. Ramsay from The Language of Goldfish, just to have a good friend and confidante like she was. For the record, she would look like Phylicia Rashad circa “The Cosby Show.”
31. Do you believe honesty is the best policy?
~ Absolutely. And I mean that.
32. What vegetable do you most resemble?
~ Hmm. I would have to say broccoli. With my frizzy hair and thick limbs, I mean.
33. What dead person would you least like to be haunted by?
~ I don’t know. Edgar Allen Poe.
34. Who would you most like to be stuck in an elevator with? Least like?
~ Most like – Johnny, of course. Least like – Hannibal Lecter, because look what he did to that poor cop.
35. What do you think Victoria’s secret is?
~ I don’t know. That she’s old and decrepit, and not at all sexy?
36. Which cartoon character do you resemble the most?
~ Velma from “Scooby Doo.”
Or else Daria….well, maybe a little.
37. Would you rather go a week without bathing but be able to change your clothes, or a week without a change of clothes but be able to bathe?
~ I’d say the first choice – without bathing but changing clothes – if only because in life I have done that before. Yeah, I know. “Ew! Gross!” Shut up.
38. Which of the four seasons do you most anticipate?
~ Fall, definitely.
39. You can choose your method of dying and the place in which you will die. Where would you like to die and how?
~ Peacefully, surrounded by loved ones. Hopefully without any pain.
40. You can choose your last meal. What will the menu consist of?
~ Pizza and ice cream. Just something simple like that.
41. If you had to be trapped in a TV show for a month, which show would you choose?
~ “Dragons.” Just to fly on a dragon! I’d like to fly on….a Night Fury!
Or else a Deadly Nadder.
42. List five people you know. Then describe each of them in five words.
~ I can’t do that, because it’s hard for me to find the right words to describe anybody sometimes.
43. You can select one person from history and ask them a question to which they must give a truthful reply. Who would you select, and what question would you ask?
~ Hmm. Good one. Perhaps, just perhaps, Lee Harvey Oswald, and I would ask if he worked alone. *shrug* Don’t know why.
44. If you joined the circus, what act would you most want to perform?
~ A trapeze artist. Just to feel that momentary sensation of flying. You know?
45. You discover that your wonderful one-year-old child is, because of a mix-up at the hospital, not yours. Would you want to exchange the child to correct the mistake?
~ Well, gee, that’s quite the conundrum! Let’s think about this. The child is young enough that, I would hope, an exchange wouldn’t really affect him/her too badly in a psychological way. However, I have grown attached to that child. And what if the other set of parents are as attached to my real child as I am to theirs? What if my child is better off with that other set of parents, or their child is better off with me? I think it would be a difficult situation. Perhaps my partner and I could become friends with the other parents, keep our respective children, and raise both children to be close friends. You know? Maybe that would work.
46. Would you be willing to become extremely ugly physically if it meant you would live for 1,000 years at any physical age you chose?
~ No. We once had a unit in elementary school wherein we were asked if, given the chance, we would want to live to be 800 years old. I said no then, and I’m still saying no now.
47. Would you be willing to commit perjury in court for a close friend? What if your lie would save his/her life?
~ Oh boy! He/She would be up a creek without a paddle, for I am a horrible liar, and probably couldn’t convincingly pull it off. Though I would certainly try. Especially if it meant a difference between life and death. Especially if he/she didn’t commit the crime he/she was accused of.
48. Would you be willing to eat a bowl of live crickets for $40,000?
~ No. Not even dead crickets.
49. Would you be willing to give up sex for five years if you could have wonderfully sensual and erotic dreams whenever you wished?
~ I don’t think so.
50. Would you be willing to give up sex for one year if you knew it would give you a much deeper sense of peace than you have now?
~ Certainly. It would be called having a child and raising it. There you are – deeper sense of peace. I mean, maybe not at first, but it would be a deeper sense of peace if you think about it. And a deeper sense of purpose, which also would contribute to that deeper sense of peace. Or am I just over-romanticizing the whole thing?