An awkwardly intriguing questionnaire

1. What’s a question you’re afraid to ask? To whom?
~ No, I no longer have any questions I am afraid to ask. I can be open and honest now.

2. What’s something you hide about your personality?
~ I don’t. Not ever. I’ve always tried to be myself, unapologetically so.

3. What’s something other people think about you that you don’t agree with?
~ That I am cold and aloof. I’m really not. I’m a warm and open person, but I’m just very shy and awkward. I haven’t really found any magic way around feeling so shy and awkward.

4. How do you deal with criticism?
~ Nowadays I let it slide, unless it’s constructive.

5. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?
~ Gotten me flowers.

6. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?
~ I don’t know for sure. I hope I’ve done sweet things for people I know.

7. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?
~ Hmm. Thinking I’ll keep that to myself for the time being. I mean, it’s not like a big hush-hush secret kind of thing, but for now, I shall just keep it to myself.

8. Describe your favourite texture.
~ I like soft and smooth things.

9. Trigger warning: Which national or global tragedy were you closest to and how did it affect you?
~ This may come as a surprise, but I was most affected by the explosion of TWA Flight 800 when it went down. Why? Because that was the exact flight I was on, along with my bandmates, when the band went to Europe three months prior. So. It was eerie. (That’ll age me, I know.)

10. Post a photo/draw a picture/write a poem (pick one) of a moment of personal significance.
~ This (edited) photo was taken less than one month before I attempted suicide:

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11. Which fictional character would you most like to have lunch with and why?
~ Hmm. Novalee Nation. She seems smart and worldly, and I’d like to hear her opinion about many things.

12. Who would you say is your “anti” role model? Someone who serves as a warning rather than an inspiration?
~ Hmm. Kim Kardashian. Geez, do I really need a reason?

13. What’s your least “politically correct” opinion?
~ This blog is not a political platform in any way, shape, or form. But I will say I believe in a woman’s right to choose. Don’t know if that’s necessarily PC, but there you have it. And let that be the end of that discussion, please and thank you.

14. What kind of underwear do you imagine Sherlock Holmes wears?
~ Egad, I don’t know! I don’t think like that!

15. What’s one of the most difficult things you’ve ever had to do?
~ Driving.

16. If you were an element on the Periodic Table, which would you be and why?
~ Lithium. Because, you know, I’ve been on it before, and I’m familiar with it.

17. What’s the most infuriating thing your parents (or caregiver) do?
~ My parents don’t do anything infuriating. I guess they used to, but that was when I was a teenager, and my perception was simply skewed. Nowadays, I know they did it out of love.

18. Which movie character do you most identify with and why?
~ I identify with several characters; I put together a pop culture laced amalgamation of myself once a long time ago, which included some movie characters. It’s hard to tell you exactly why for many of them, but I just identify strongly with them. And, wouldn’t you know, I forgot to include a couple characters! Go figure! Well, I’ll update it in a little while then. Just so you’re on the lookout.

19. You’re an action movie hero. What’s your weapon of choice and the line you scream when defeating your arch enemy?
~ My weapon of choice? Taken from the song “The Turdy Point Buck”: “A combination AK-57, Uzi, radar, laser, triple barrel, double scoped, heat-seeking shotgun.” That would be a killer gun, no pun intended. And the line I scream? Never thought about it, but the word “Die” would probably be in there.

20. What’s the silliest fan theory you’ve ever come up with?
~ I haven’t. I don’t think like that. Although the bad guy may be Luke in the upcoming “Star Wars” movie. There, that’s as ‘fan theory’ as I’ll get; it’s not my theory, anyway, it’s my dad’s. So.

21. What did you think about before you fell asleep last night?
~ Johnny, and what our future together holds.

22. What’s the oddest term of endearment you’ve ever used or that someone’s used for you?
~ Dad used to call us kids “Herkimer” and “Geezinslaw” on occasion, for no reason at all. He meant it with love.

23. What motivates you in life?
~ Everything and everyone. How’s that for vague? But I mean it.

24. What was something you used to enjoy, but was ruined for you? What’s the story behind that?
~ You know, that hasn’t happened for me yet. Knock on wood. Cross my fingers. I’ve been pretty lucky and my quirks and eccentricities have been accepted even if they may have been questioned.

25. How do you think you will fare when the Zombie Apocalypse arrives?
~ I agree with Grif from “Red Vs. Blue,” when he said his zombie plan involved getting to colder climate. Get thee to Alaska or Siberia, and you should be all right.

26. Which mythological creature are you most like? Why? And if you could be any mythological creature, which would you want to be? Why?
~ I don’t know. I was never good at mythology in school. Sorry.

27. Write a brief story about an actual adventure you’ve had.
~ When the band was in Europe, and on the last night of the trip which was spent in Paris, we got lost on the Paris Metro. I only remember flashes – the sickly green of the train interior, and the fluorescent lights, and the yellow of the maps, and the cool breezy night, and then the long walk from the metro stop back to the hotel. It took us about an hour or so to get back to the hotel, but it was an adventure.

28. Describe one of the most awkward experiences of your life.
~ Awkward and embarrassing. One day in seventh grade, during shop class (which the school called ‘tech ed’), I had forgotten to bring the needed materials. The teacher had said, if you didn’t have the materials that day, to do something that wouldn’t distract the kids that had the materials and were therefore working. So I was writing in my notebook – I had a story going at that time, can’t remember what it was about right present, but it was a good story. And the teacher picked on me – he was like “What are you doing? Why aren’t you working on today’s assignment?” Uh, because I don’t have the materials today, and I’m doing something to keep me from distracting others, like you said. The teacher confiscated my notebook, and read part of the story I was working on! And then he wouldn’t give it back to me – one of my friends had to go get it back for me! I was so embarrassed. Hence the reason why I’m so reluctant to let people read my writing.

29. What’s something that scares you about the future?
~ Not knowing what’s going to happen tomorrow. That used to be a bad scary, but nowadays I see it as a good scary.

30. List 5 quirky things about yourself.
1) I hold writing utensils really weird. Like so:

IMG_0118

2) I’ve been told by many a discerning Iowan that I have a Wisconsin accent. I myself don’t hear any sort of accent whatsoever, but what do I know?
3) I am left-handed, yet I can and do use right-handed scissors to cut. Yeah, that was a standard notation on my elementary school report cards: “[Mouse] needs to learn how to cut within the lines.” Well, that was sort of hard for me! I never invested in left-handed scissors, so I improvised. You know?
4) My method of buying music is….well, I used to call it ‘schizophrenic’ until I realized that was sort of mean and insulting, so my method of buying music is unique in that if the CD looks interesting at first glance, I will buy it. I’ve found a lot of good artists that way, such as Neko Case, Ivy, Tiffany Anders, Dot Allison, and A Fine Frenzy.
5) I didn’t realize “For a pessimist, I’m pretty optimistic” was the name of a 2007 Paramore song until about two years ago. I thought it was a genius saying I’d come up with on my lonesome. Oops! So I mean no copyright infringement when I say it! I did, however, come up with the gem “I would go crazy, but I already have, so I’m guilt-free.” tee hee. Yeah, I know, I’m weird.

31. Describe your dream library.
~ Books, books, everywhere, but in some semblance of order. Like my personal library.

IMG_0440

Actually, this photo is inaccurate. Just picture this but with a lot more books spilling off the shelves and onto the floor, and that’s what my library looks like now. Yeah, I have a lot of books.

32. What’s the weirdest item you’ve ever mourned?
~ It was a Boyd’s Bears angel figurine called Luna, and the little banner at the bottom of it read “By the light of the silvery moon.” It broke somehow. I unhealthily missed that figurine for a long time.

$_57

33. If you could design an amusement park ride, what would it be like?
~ Quick and painless. And nothing too vertiginous. Perhaps it’d be a water ride of some kind.

34. Do you have any “rules” about food?
~ Nope. I’ll try anything.

35. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?
~ Hey, if it’s truly love, it’ll all work out. Age and ethnicity and gender be darned.

36. What’s something you want to do that you’d be embarrassed to tell other people about?
~ A polar bear plunge. People would probably think I’m crazy.

37. Describe a time/event in your life that you’re nostalgic for.
~ I’m really not nostalgic for any time/event in my lifetime. Though sometimes I think I was born in the wrong era – I wish I’d been born so I could have experienced the 60s and 70s at a young age. Alas, they were before my time.

38. How do you approach social situations?
~ Better now than I have in the past.

39. What is your ideal bed? Why?
~ A full- or queen-sized bed. Big enough for two. Let’s leave it at that.

40. Post a haiku based on your life.
I am a flawed girl
Doing her very flawed best
In this vast flawed world.

See? Haiku. 5-7-5. Not the best haiku, and nothing I haven’t already said before, but there it is.

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