Tonight, I am feeling very talkative. Maybe it’s the humidity or the rain, but whatever it is, I’m feeling more than one-word answers (even though there are still some one-word answers within).
So. Here you go.
1. What’s been the best day of your life so far and why?
~ I think the best day of my life has yet to come. I’ll keep you posted.
2. Describe your first kiss, who was it with, what was it like, where was it etc?
~ It was with Johnny. He kissed me goodnight in his car after one particular date. I liked it. It was sweet.
3. What’s your biggest regret? I know we all say we don’t regret things but obviously it’s how we learn, from our mistakes. So what’s something from your past you wished you could have changed?
~ A couple things. One, I wish I’d had a closer relationship with my cousin Gina. And two, I wish I could’ve held someone’s hand when I had the chance, but that’s another story for another time. (I wouldn’t call them mistakes, though.) However, despite those, I regret nothing. As the saying goes, “Don’t regret anything because, at one time, it was exactly what you wanted.” Which is wholly applicable in my case.
4. When was the last time you laughed so hard that tears fell from your face and what was it at?
~ In all honesty, I can’t remember. It’s been that long. Though I’m sure family was involved.
5. What is the craziest thing that you have ever done?
~ Participated in a walk-out in seventh grade. I’m so damn boring, aren’t I?
6. What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you?
~ There have been two occasions where someone read my journal and/or writing without my consent. The first time, a teacher confiscated it. The second time, a couple bullies read my journal, claiming they thought it was my school notebook because I was always writing in it. Uh huh.
7. Do you have any scars and if so, how did you get them?
~ Several. One is on my right wrist, from when I “accidentally” put my hand through the window. One is on my tailbone, from surgery from a pilonidal cyst when I was nineteen. One has the appearance of a circular band-aid grafted under my skin, no joke, on my left arm, from a nuisance bug bite the doctor had to remove; she thought it was a tumor at first, oops. And then there are a few self-harm scars, the biggest of which is on my left arm. So.
8. Where would you like to be in 10 years?
~ Perhaps married, with children, driving, holding down a steady job, who knows where, but I’ll be loved wherever it is.
9. What are your views on drugs and alcohol?
~ There’s a story as to why I will never touch the stuff. When I was five, one of my relatives became hooked on drugs. When my mother told us kids this, I pictured a huge heavy iron fishhook snagged clean through my relative’s cheek, and my relative’s dead weight hanging from it. Scary stuff for a five year old, and I did have nightmares about it. I swore then and there that I would never ever do drugs or alcohol. And I never have. It’s that simple.
10. What are your views on religion?
~ I was born and raised Catholic, but I’m not serious about it anymore. I haven’t been to church in so many years.
11. Have you ever thought about ending your own life? If so, why?
~ Yes, but not recently. Sometimes, it’s par for the course, having depression.
12. Write 5 facts people might not know about you.
~ 1. I’m a packrat. Yeah, my room is such a mess, from everything I collect. I draw the line at the term ‘hoarder,’ though. I am not, repeat, not a hoarder.
2. When I was eighteen, I won a statewide writing contest, and my prize was $150. Yes, my first professional writing prize! The story was “Railroad Rocks;” maybe I’ll post that one day.
3. I am left-handed, yet I use right-handed scissors. Yes, that was a standard notation on all my early report cards: “[Mouse] needs to learn how to cut within the lines.” Seeing as how no one ever invested in left-handed scissors for me, I had to improvise. To this day, I cannot use left-handed scissors.
4. While I may seem to know what I’m doing most times, in reality I am so indecisive, it’s not even funny.
5. I have only recently become addicted to fashion. Not shoes, but clothing. I love clothes! And bags. I love handbags. Like this one:
13. What’s your zodiac sign and do you think it fits your personality?
~ I’m a Capricorn, making me the goat. Yeah, I guess that fits.
14. Pinpoint a moment you felt the most satisfied with your life.
~ Right now. Everything is pretty good right now.
15. Discuss your first love.
~ Having never been in love, I cannot tell you. But I do presently have a boyfriend. Johnny is great. He’s sweet and understanding; he knows about my depression, and he doesn’t judge me because of it. He’s smart and nice and good-looking, he’s incredibly sweet, and he makes me laugh and smile. I can share anything with him, no matter how hard it is to put into words. (Well, I’m trying!)
16. Put your ipod on shuffle and write 10 songs that pop up. Explain why each song is on there.
~ First of all, I do not have an ipod. I have my Pandora stream on my phone. Second, I can tell you the main reason why most of these songs will be on there, because I like them, duh! And probably most of them will be female singer-songwriters because I am a girl, and I can identify with them. So there’s that. Okay, here goes:
1. “Gentle Rain” by Deanna Kirk. I found Deanna Kirk via a website called CD Baby. I love Deanna Kirk’s voice, it’s just so mellifluous and jazzy, plus the song is perfect for this evening, what with the rain.
2. “Lifesize” by A Fine Frenzy. I’m a big fan. So glad I got her albums. She’s just phenomenal.
3. “At Last” by Neko Case. This is a song I’d liked played at my funeral, no matter how old I am when I pass. It’s one of those songs that would mean something to just about anyone. Beautiful, short and sweet song.
4. “Anything” by Kate Earl. I found Kate Earl’s album on a whim, bought it, and I’m glad I did. She’s got such a sweet voice.
5. “In My Life” by the Beatles. C’mon, who doesn’t love the Beatles?
6. “A Lucky Guy” by Rickie Lee Jones. I am the only member of my immediate family who is a fan of Rickie Lee Jones. That came in handy when I was younger – when I didn’t want anyone in my room, I’d put on Rickie Lee Jones or Lisa Loeb. That kept the parents and siblings away. tee hee.
7. “Here to Stay” by Lenka. Found Lenka on a whim one day at Best Buy, and have been a fan ever since. Like Kate Earl, she’s got a sweet voice.
8. “Breathe Me” by Sia. This is a Pandora recommendation for me. I’ve heard of Sia, but I’m not familiar with her. This is actually a good song. In reading up on Sia, she’s apparently been a songwriter for the likes of Rihanna and Beyonce. But she’s way cooler than those two, because she can actually write her own songs.
9. “Flowers in December” by Mazzy Star. I came late to the Mazzy Star party, in that I first heard them in a movie named “Angus” on TV a couple years ago because their song “Fade Into You” featured prominently. Now I love them. Hope Sandoval has such a unique voice.
10. “Take Us Back” by Alela Diane. I found Alela Diane and her music via a music blogger. I don’t even remember what blog it was, but he had posted one song of hers as a sample of her work, and I was hooked. She’s very folksy and acoustic, and just very real.
17. Name somewhere you’d like to move or visit.
~ I’d like to move to Seattle, or else somewhere in Illinois. I’d like to visit New York City. And London. And Las Vegas, but not for gambling.
18. What’s your earliest memory?
~ Egad. I have so many memories vying for the title of ‘earliest,’ I can’t tell you which is actually the earliest. So I can’t tell you the absolute earliest with any degree of certainty.
19. What are your views on mainstream music?
~ I can’t stand to listen to the radio these days, because I am not a fan of the major mainstream music – it all sounds the same to me. I prefer the indie artists, like Neko Case.
20. What are your highs and lows of this past year?
~ Let’s say from June 2014 to May 2015. The highs of the year would have been holding down my full-time job for the whole year, Gina’s wedding in January 2015, and meeting my boyfriend in December 2014. My low was September 2014.
21. What are your strongest beliefs?
~ I believe in God, life, freedom, being, truth. Those are some of the big ones.
22. Who are you closest to in your family?
~ My mom.
23. How important do you think education is?
~ It’s very important. *shrug* Nothing more deep than that, other than I think it’s very important.
24. What’s one of your favorite shows?
~ “Daria.” Love that show.
25. How have you changed in the past 2 years?
~ I have changed a lot. I am driving now; I have great hobbies and interests; I have a boyfriend; I have my mental illnesses under control; my family supports me; I have a full-time job again. All in all, life is good.
26. Name 5 people who are famous who you find attractive.
~ Hmmm. I really don’t, actually. I mean, yes, okay, I still have a ‘crush’ on Nicolas Cage. But that’s about it. There aren’t a lot of people I find attractive.
27. Name your favorite movie and what it’s about.
~ My favorite movie of all time is “Badlands.” It’s about a couple who go on a killing spree. Hardly romantic that, but it’s a sparse, poetic, and overall beautiful film. But, you know, that’s just my opinion.
28. Who is someone who fascinates you and why?
~ Sylvia Plath, even though she’s passed away. I just think she had a great mind, and she was an amazingly talented writer. I wish I could write like her.
29. What kind of person attracts you?
~ I’m dating him.
30. What’s a problem that you have recently had or are currently having?
~ It’s an internal thing. Not something I would like to talk about here on the blog just yet.
31. Name something that you miss.
~ How about someone? I miss Younger Brother and my dad.
32. Share 5 goals you want completed in the next 30 days.
~ 1) to get myself financially back on the straight and narrow; 2) to see about getting my driver’s license; 3) to clean my room…. That’s it, really. Only those three. Sorry.
33. What’s been the highlight of your month and the lowest point?
~ The highlight of the month of June so far has been my trip to Chicago with Johnny (more later). My lowest point, well, wasn’t even that low, but I just felt somewhat negative about myself and things. Again, it’s an internal thing.
34. What’s something that you’ve done in the past that you would never do again?
~ Hmm. Let myself get bullied and pushed around. I think I have much more of a backbone now, and wouldn’t tolerate such a thing.
35. What is your biggest insecurity & why?
~ My biggest insecurity as of now is my weight. I know I’m overweight for my height, and could stand to lost 20 to 30 or more pounds. Thing is, if I drop below a certain weight level, I’ll get sick
36. What were the last 3 songs you listened to and what did they mean to you?
~ I don’t really have three songs that ‘mean’ something to me. A lot of songs I like are just good songs, and don’t mean much more than that. So a lot of songs just don’t have personal meaning to me – they’re just good songs. So let me think of three that might have personal meaning to me…. Phil Collins’ “Take Me Home,” because that reminds me of my family, for good or ill. Fiona Apple’s “Oh Well,” because it perfectly describes how I felt in ninth grade, and I could’ve used that song back then. And “I’m With You” by Avril Lavigne, because I think of one person and one person only whenever I hear that song; unfortunately, he’ll never know who he is. So.
37. Do you have a toy that’s really special to you and if so what is it, how did you get it etc?
~ I have three. One is Samantha, my doll, and I got her from my aunt Laurie when I was three years old. There is Chips, my clown china doll, and I got him from a set of grandparents when I was four. And then there is my rag doll Carrie, who I got from family friend Carrie-A when I was five. I will never get rid of them.
38. Have you lost anyone close to you to death?
~ Yes. Some of those are stories for another time, though.
39. What is your purpose in life?
~ 42!!! That is everyone’s purpose in life, according to Deep Thought. tee hee. Seriously, I still don’t know.
40. When was the last time you cried and what was it over?
~ It was at a rehearsal for This Is My Brave. There were so many good stories, touching stories, and they made everyone cry.
41. If you got to spend an entire day with your favourite celebrity, what would you guys do?
~ Just talk.
42. If you could only listen to one artist for the rest of your life, who would you choose and why?
~ Neko Case, duh!
43. What are 3 personality traits that you like about yourself, and what are three that you dislike about yourself?
~ Three that I like about myself is that I’m observant, and that I’m unconventional, and that I’ve been told I can be funny. Three that I dislike about myself are my shyness, my inherent awkwardness, and my impatience.
44. Can you cook? If so, what are your favorite dishes to make?
~ I can cook anything if I have a good recipe. I like making chicken dishes and spaghetti.
45. What was the last decision you regretted making?
~ Buyer’s remorse. Let’s leave it at that.
46. Whose opinion of yourself do you value the most?
~ Aside from my own (which is incredibly self-centered of me, I know), Johnny’s.
47. What’s the nastiest thing you’ve ever said to another human being and what drove you to say it?
~ I can’t remember. You can call it a repressed memory if you like, but I honestly don’t remember.
48. What’s the nastiest thing anyone has ever said to YOU? Or something that’s hurt you above anything else and why?
~ I had a guidance counselor once tell me, in regards to the bullying, “It’s just a phase, you’ll grow out of it.” Like it was all my fault!
49. You can ask your favourite celebrity 3 questions and he’s/she’s taken a magical truth pill so he/she will 100% answer honestly. What do you ask?
~ “Are you truly happy?”, “What would you do over if you could?”, and “Do you write?”
50. What mark would you want to leave on this world after you are gone?
~ I’ve been thinking more and more about going to take classes for counseling teens who are mentally ill. I’ve been told I have knowledge of the subject, and it’d be good of me to share my story and help others. So I’ve been thinking about it. So perhaps that.
51. What makes you most angry?
~ Intolerance. Hypocrisy. Lying. Basically, politicians, because they do all that. But those three things singularly will tick me off.
52. Who do you think is a really underrated celebrity and what do you love about them?
~ Neko Case. I just love everything about her.
53. What are the main qualities you look for when thinking about a significant other?
~ Someone who can make me laugh, someone who likes music, someone who could tolerate a large extended family, and someone who likes cats.
54. What’s the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for you?
~ Gotten me flowers.
55. What is one of your favorite memories?
~ When my dad hurried to the airport to see the band off to Europe my freshman year of high school. Another story for another time.
56. What do you do when you really want to impress someone?
~ I don’t. I’m too much of a wallflower. If I really want to impress someone, I just try to think of a good story that’ll get their attention. Like the story that aunt Mary told us that uncle Michael told her about driving through a small town once….cue the “Deliverance” theme….
57. What are your 3 favourite animals and why?
~ Cats, dogs, and birds. I like cats because I am just naturally a cat person. I like dogs because they are loyal and great companions. I like birds because birds are mysterious and beautiful and they can fly, and I wish I could fly.
58. What’s the nicest present you’ve ever received?
~ Blank books, of any kind. No, really.
59. People always go around saying ‘oh I’m their biggest fan’, but what does being a truly big fan of someone mean to you?
~ I don’t really know. I’ve never felt that way about a celebrity. No, honestly. I suppose it would mean my thoughts have to be flexible, and will change and include everything I know about them, for good or ill. Seeing them as human, I guess. That’s what being a true fan means – to understand that someone will have good and bad days, and some days they want to be left alone, and they are not perfect so you have to accept that about him/her. If that makes any sense.
60. Have you ever wanted to change anything about your life? If so, what?
~ I’ve often wondered what would have happened if I’d had a backbone and had stopped the bullying before it got so bad; would I still be the same person I am today? Hard to say.
61. What is something you feel like you are really good at?
62. What are your top 5 favourite all time songs by your favourite artist?
~ God. Neko Case has so many good songs. “Whip the Blankets,” “Middle Cyclone,” “Polar Nettles,” “John Saw That Number,” and “Hold On Hold On.” Those are five off the top of my head. But all her songs are good.
63. What are your top 5 favourite all time videos by your favourite artist?
~ I don’t know. The only official video I’ve seen of hers is “Maybe Sparrow,” which, by the way, is another good song.
64. If you were given $3,000,000 to put towards 3 charities/foundations ($1 mil each obvs), what would you choose and why?
~ A mental health charity, the ASPCA, and a cancer research fund.
65. What’s one thing someone has done for you that was really small but made a huge impact?
~ Chose me to share my story for This Is My Brave. The producers didn’t have to choose me, but they did. For me, that’s huge.
66. What do you do when you can’t sleep?
~ I do anything but count sheep. So I’ll read, write, listen to music, pace, play with my phone, or start cleaning my room.
67. What’s something that’s on your bucket list?
~ Firing a gun.
68. If you could change 3 things within your government, what would they be and why?
~ No corruption, no money, and no lies.
69. What’s your favourite holiday and why?
~ Halloween. But not for obvious reasons. Let me think on how to articulate what I mean, and I’ll get back to you around Halloween.
70. What’s the kindest thing a stranger has ever done for you? Even if it’s TINY like holding a door open for you, something that you remember even though they were a complete stranger.
~ Helped me pick up things when my bag broke. That was in high school.
71. Who’s your favorite cartoon character?
~ Either Daria or Gir from “Invader Zim.”
72. What’s the first song that comes to your mind while reading this and why?
~ Reading this questionnaire? Nothing comes to mind.
73. Put the 7 deadly sins in order of the one you commit the most to the least.
~ Probably: pride, envy, lust, sloth, wrath, gluttony, greed.
74. What would you like to be the first dance song at your wedding?
~ For a first dance? I don’t know. I can’t really dance that well. So I’d prefer it to be a first duet between husband and wife. And that’d be “I See the Light” from “Tangled.” It’s something my future husband and I would work out together, though.
75. Have you ever been told you look like a famous person, if so, who?
~ No. I’d feel sorry for the famous person, to tell you the truth.
76. What’s one thing you can not live without?
~ Paper and pencil.
77. What is the most selfless thing you have ever done for someone?
~ I can’t remember. That doesn’t mean I haven’t done something selfless, but I honestly don’t remember.
78. Rate your favourite artist on a scale of 1-10 for the following things:
~ Well, the artist I shall choose is, of course, Neko Case.
Looks: 8. She is fierce!
Vocal ability: 10. Bonus points because she doesn’t care for autotune, so what you hear is what you get.
Dance ability: N/A. Who says she has to have dance ability to be an artist, anyway?
Videos: 5. I haven’t seen many Neko Case videos, so I can’t say one way or the other.
Actual songs: 10. Even when they aren’t about her, they are still very personal and powerful.
Lyrics: 10. She’s sort of like Tori Amos, in that sometimes her lyrics don’t make sense, but I understand Neko Case more than Tori Amos. (No offense meant to Tori Amos.)
Personality: 10. I follow her on Twitter, and I’ve read some interviews she’s given, and she’s someone who doesn’t give a f*** about what anyone thinks of her. She just does her own thing. I love that about her.
Loyalty to fans: 10.
79. What are 3 things that have happened in your life that you’ve never forgotten? Big or small, just things you know you won’t ever forget and still seem crystal clear now.
~ I have a weird memory, in that I can remember almost anything as though it happened yesterday. So I can’t pick just three instances. They’re all pretty clear to me still. And I can remember little things, that no on else remembers. So.
80. What comes first to you out of friendships and relationships, and why?
~ I don’t really understand the question. I think trust would be the biggest thing, because a relationship is nothing without trust.
81. What’s your favourite children’s tv show/movie?
~ My favorite children’s TV show would have to be “Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends.” One of my favorite childhood movies was “The Secret of NIMH.”
82. What song makes you cry the most?
~ Boy. That’s hard to pinpoint. Several have made me cry. It just depends on my mood.
83. What’s the funniest film you’ve ever seen?
~ I’m almost embarrassed to say it, but “The Wedding Singer.” Adam Sandler’s best movie, in my opinion. “The Big Lebowski” was also good – Jeff Bridges was phenomenal as The Dude. And I love “Clue.” That was just funny.
84. What’s something crazy that you’ve always wanted to do?
~ A polar bear plunge. Dunno why.
85. Has anything ever happened to you that you just can’t forgive?
~ Being bullied. It’s hard, and I don’t know if I could ever forgive the kids for that. Maybe if I could sit down with them in person….
86. What’s your biggest fear?
~ Bees. I have told people, the day killer bees invade the city I’m living in is the day I stop going outside. End of story.
87. What is your favorite food?
~ I don’t have a favorite food. I’ll try anything….
88. Least favorite food? Why?
~ ….except peanuts. Because, for whatever reason, I don’t like peanuts.
89. Have you ever felt ashamed about something? If so, what was it & why?
~ Hmm. Let me think on that one. I’ll let you know.
90. Do you keep a journal? If so, what mostly goes in it? Random thoughts, feelings, stories?
~ I used to keep a paper journal, filled with random thoughts and going-ons. I kept it up for about ten years, but quit when I started blogging the first time. I’ve often thought about starting it up again. There’s nothing quite like good old-fashioned pencil to paper.
91. When was the last time you said something nice to someone & what made you do it?
~ I complimented someone on a shirt he was wearing, because I liked the shirt. It was a shirt featuring Snoopy sleeping on the roof of his doghouse, and it was captioned “Living the dream.” tee hee.
92. How do you feel when someone says something mean/disrespectful towards your fave celeb?
93. What’s the saddest story/one that’s touched you the most that you’ve ever heard on the news?
~ Oh, that’s another story for another time. All I will tell you is that after reading that story, I had the realization that “They’re right – today really is the first day of the rest of your life.”
94. If you were told you were going to have 3 daughters, what would you want to name them?
~ Ooo. I’m keeping this to myself for the time being, in case it’s a dream meant to come true. Suffice to say, I have had a dream wherein I had one daughter and I gave her a very specific name. Same with a son. So you’ll have to wait.
95. Do you have a middle name and if so, what is it?
~ It starts with an “R.” Other than that, I will not say.
96. How did your name get chosen? What’s the story behind it?
~ Which name? My real name? No big story behind it – it was just another option my parents thought of, because the little girl down the lane was born Sarah first. Drat it. I was also almost going to be named Gabrielle which, while it’s a pretty name, makes me want to gag. As for my nickname, Mouse, that is because I have the personality of a mouse. And Mousenomia Tadpole was an off-the-cuff pen name I came up with one day.
97. What’s the craziest thing you’ve done for each of your faves, e.g. waiting in line for hours, getting up early to see them on TV, etc?
~ Getting up at 4:00 am to wait an hour to watch a commercial with him in it. A commercial! This was back when I was like fourteen, fifteen years old. Go figure.
98. Are you a virgin?
~ Okay, I have decided I’m sick of this particular question. What difference does it make, really? So, instead, I shall give you this Look….
…and move on.
99. What are the stories behind your tattoos/piercings and if you don’t have any, would you like any?
~ My ears are pierced, twice. I wanted them pierced, twice. What more of a story do you want? It wasn’t on a dare and I wasn’t drunk or anything.
100. Do you have siblings? If so, what are their names and how old are they?
~ Older Sister is three years older than me, Younger Brother is two years younger than me, and Youngest Brother is three years younger than me.
That was fun.
I’m typed out for the time being now, so I shall say good night and see you later!