So this question was asked of my department at work.
I found it compelling, so I wrote it out and pinned it up in my cubicle:
“How do you plan to shine in 2015?”
Well, in terms of work, I will just keep plugging along, toeing the line, and doing my very best to provide excellent service and record retention.
But as for anything else, I have a feeling 2015 will be my year.
There’s no ‘Finally!’ type moment to be had. I just think 2015 will be my year to, well, shine.
Think about it. A lot has changed, and we’re only about three months into the year. Already, I’m taking driving classes, I’m stepping out of my shell at work, I’m stepping out of my shell period what with This Is My Brave, the mental illnesses are under control for the most part, I’m doing well, I have a couple good writing ideas in the pipeline, I even have a boyfriend.
I think 2015 will be a year I reach a sort of potential. Not my full potential – I don’t think I’ll ever know what my full potential really is – but a sort of potential. A sort of height the likes of which I’ve never been before.
I guess we shall see. Don’t dare call it before it’s over, you know?
So, we shall see.
Here’s another questionnaire I found online that I felt like filling out. It’s short, only 20 questions. But it was fun to do.
1. Do you have any regrets?
~ Two. One is not having a closer relationship with my cousin Gina. The other is not holding someone’s hand when I had the chance. But that’s another story for another time.
2. Do you have a deep, dark secret?
~ Nope. Not at all.
3. Have you ever hurt someone?
~ Certainly not on purpose, let me tell you.
4. Have you ever self-harmed?
~ Yes. But let’s not go there right this second. It’s enough I’ve admitted it.
5. How would you like to be remembered?
~ As someone who tried her very best.
6. Who are the three most important people in your life?
~ Aside from my five immediate family members, that would be Johnny, Gina, and Melissa.
7. Was there one event that changed your life and the way you think?
~ Yes. One January morning, when I was seventeen. That changed everything.
8. Would you sacrifice everything for love?
9. Are you afraid of dying?
~ No, not really. It will happen one day. I guess it’s not knowing how I will die that scares me.
10. Have you ever been abused?
~ No, at least not physically. When I was bullied, it was more psychological and emotional and verbal abuse, so I guess that would count.
11. Have you ever been in love?
~ No, but perhaps I’m getting there.
12. Are you happy with who you are?
~ Yes. And it took years for me to be able to say that.
13. Would you ever give up your life to save someone else’s?
~ You bet.
14. Have you changed at all in the last year?
~ Very much so. I’ll be driving before long, I have a full-time job, I have a supportive family, I have friends, and I have a boyfriend. All in all, very much changed.
15. Would you ever settle for someone you didn’t feel was “the one”?
~ I don’t know. Who’s to say who is ‘the one’ or not?
16. Is there someone you can tell everything to without fear of judgment?
17. Are you pursuing your dreams?
~ Not as ardently as I should be, I guess. I’d love to write a novel – that’s not really panning out. I’d like to write, period.
18. Do actions speak louder than words?
~ Many times, yes.
19. Is there something you would never do?
~ I’d probably never bungee jump or skydive or skinny dip.
20. What makes you uncomfortable?
~ Difficult to say. It really does vary. But that’s par for the course, I guess. The smallest, most insignificant thing could make me uncomfortable or depressed or anxious, the way Susanna Kaysen felt like crying watching the goat dance, or like the words in the poem made Carrie Stokes uncomfortable. (Go read those books already, if you don’t know what I’m talking about.)
In closing today, the bank where my mom and Youngest Brother work was selling candy sundaes again. This time, we each got one – Mom got a Hershey’s one, Younger Brother was sent a Snickers one, Older Sister chose Mounds, and Youngest Brother got….well, I can’t remember what he got. I got York Peppermint Patties, as you can see:
These’ll last me a year. No, seriously. I’m not one for a lot of Yorks, so these will last me quite a while.
And Nuala was disinclined to play with the ribbons this time, so I have no picture for you. Darn it.