“Um….” without irony (plus a relevant song)

Today is going to be weird, I think. I have the day off today, on account of it is President’s Day (once again, the current company is the only place I’ve ever worked for that takes President’s Day off – weird).

Plus, I have another post in mind that might prove….weird. I have to work on it some more. Maybe later on.

But for now, I have another ‘movie review.’ And this movie review will be much shorter than the other one….but, once again, there is a song at the end, which is relevant in the most miniscule of ways.

For exact plot points and specifications, you can head over to Internet Movie Database (or IMDB).

Today’s movie review is another Nicolas Cage movie. (C’mon….) The movie is called “Drive Angry.”

Found via Google search for 'nicolas cage drive angry'
Found via Google search for ‘nicolas cage drive angry’

Now, here is a movie I wouldn’t ordinarily watch. Just because. All the sex and violence and cursing like sailors and flashy camera work and car chases and the involvement of a devil’s cult. Yeah, not really my cuppa. But, once again, my curiosity won out, and I really had no expectations about it.

Certainly wasn’t a great movie. But it was not as bad as everyone makes it out to be. I thought William Fichtner as The Accountant was amazing and a riot. I couldn’t be shocked or offended by any of it, because I thought the whole thing was just silly – don’t mean to sound all out-there-hillbilly on you, but I would go so far as to call it a rip-snortin’ good time. I also thought it was trippy. Massively trippy….

….Am I being too generous?

*shrug*

Perhaps.

But I mean it.

Here is a perfect example of, there is nothing normal about any character Mr. Cage plays. It seemed to be a wooden performance, yes, but upon further thought, and another viewing, it really wasn’t at all. Or maybe it was meant to be so. (See? Trippy.) All the little things Mr. Cage employed, like the occasional tics he exhibited and the changing gleam in his eyes, made that character interesting. I mentioned all the cursing in the movie, but his character never once utters a curse word. Which I also thought was pretty cool.

Oh, and Whitman? I knew that had to be some sort of poetic reference, because I was like ‘Oh, that’s somehow familiar.’ Nice touch. And that was actually Mr. Cage’s idea! Brilliant! Not sayin’ any more.

BEST MOMENT: It was not the moment everyone probably immediately thinks of. That was kind of like “Um….” and I mean that without irony. A particular “Red vs. Blue” quote comes to mind: “This doesn’t seem physically possible!”, though I only thought of that line later. At the time, as I watched the movie, all I could think was “Um….” Totally weird, that.

No, to me, the best moment came after a lengthy car chase scene. It ends up in a warehouse of some kind. He gets out of his car, and is standing at the edge of a depressed industrial trench. The chasing car guns for him….but falls into the trench. And he just stands there, unflinching, all la dee frickin’ da. I might have cheered at that….or, at the very least, giggled. Jack Nicholson who? Nicolas Cage = the coolest man in the room!

Found via Google search for 'nicolas cage drive angry'
Found via Google search for ‘nicolas cage drive angry’

Oh yeah. About a giggle. I’m actually embarrassed about this, but this really did happen.

After seeing this movie, I did some research on it. I read Mr. Cage was most enthusiastic about playing Milton because – possible ‘Spoiler!’ here – it would involve him getting his eye shot out. He had apparently wanted to have that done to him in “Season of the Witch” (which I haven’t seen yet), but higher-ups wouldn’t allow it. *takes a second to ponder why that could have been, then shrugs and moves on* So, when I was watching this movie, about the first week of December, I didn’t know that moment was coming.

But, wouldn’t you know, when it happened, right on cue, I did actually singsong out loud: “You’ll shoot your eye out!”

No, I’m not lying – I really did do that!

And then, as the cultists were dragging the girl away, I really did spout off some Monty Python – “He’s not dead! He’s getting better! ‘Tis only a flesh wound!”

I am so freakin’ warped!

Further evidence of that warp-ed-ness will be demonstrated right now.

I became interested in Diane Birch because, believe it or not, a Facebook ad actually recommended her music to me. (Yes, I am on Facebook; send me an e-mail if you want to know any more.) Good thing I took Facebook up on that recommendation. Diane Birch is phenomenal.

This particular song of Diane Birch’s has absolutely nothing to do with this particular movie of Nicolas Cage’s….but for the simple fact that, after I finished watching this movie, this song came into my head. So I listened to the song afterwards….giggling all the while.

From her 2009 debut album “Bible Belt,” this is Diane Birch with a song called “Choo Choo.”

Yes. I am warped.

And proud of it!

The end.

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