Featuring a cast of many….

Hi, everyone!

Well, first of all, welcome to the last week and a half of my temporary job! Apparently the assignment was supposed to end this coming Friday, but I got a week’s extension. However, after how it went today, I honestly don’t think I’ll need the extension after all – I’ll have everything boxed up and ready to ship out by tomorrow afternoon basically. So, yeah, I got the job done in the time I was given. I feel good about that.

So. Job ends October 28th, unless earlier.

Then, by Thanksgiving, I will be back home in Iowa. Long story, that.

But that’s not what I’m posting about right now!

As you know, November is just around the corner. And that means it’s time for National Novel Writing Month, or NaNoWriMo for short. Like I declared in my last post, I will be trying it again this year, with the same story I’ve been working on for the past two NaNoWriMos (at least 2013 and 2014; like I said, I didn’t participate last year).

“Cherchez La Femme” will tell the story of two girls, Francine and Sarah. Francine is a famous actress. Sarah is not. But they are best friends. Like I’ve said, I am very happy with where the outline has gone. It’s now just a little over 100 pages. And I do not think it will be getting any longer. I do not think there will be any more surprises. I think the story is pretty much set. So, come November, all I have to do is write it.

Bur right now, I thought I would sort of introduce you to the characters of the story. It’s not going to be much of an introduction – basically just names – because I don’t want to give too much away. I had also thought about posting pictures of the people who have inspired the characters (all of whom are well-known actors or actresses for the most part, with a few exceptions) but, again, that would be giving something away. So, you know, I won’t….not at present, anyway.

And I don’t want to tell you too much about the plot. Basically, all you need to know is, it’s going to be a very unconventional story, nothing like you’d expect. The story takes place in both Illinois and New York City, with the bulk of the story taking place in New York City, as there are going to be not one but two movies involved (it’s going to be a dual movie shoot, so that means two movies following one story arc). But you’ll get that. Eventually. So.

Anyway. The characters.

~ Of course, the main characters are Sarah and Francine. Sarah’s last name is Goeken (pronounced ‘go-ken’) and Francine’s last name is Almay (not pronounced ‘all-may,’ but pronounced as it looks – ‘al-may’). Sarah and Francine have been friends since they were four years old (yeah, I changed it from three years old to four years old; made more sense, that). Even though Francine is famous, the only person she wants to be her true best friend is Sarah. So. That relationship is the most important one in the story, of course. And both Francine and Sarah come a long way throughout the story, from beginning to end.

And, like I’ve said previously, Francine is based on a real-life, well-known British actress. Still won’t tell you who, but it’s not like you couldn’t figure it out (and it’s still not Emma Watson, so don’t even go there). Though here’s a hint – I have blogged about her once before. So.

Now, on to the rest of the characters:

~ Sarah’s parents are Thomas and Lynn Goeken. The Goekens all live in small-town Illinois, and that small Illinois town is basically where the story begins and ends. Thomas and Lynn are very important throughout.

~ Francine’s parents are William and Helen Almay. Circumstances led the Almays to that same small Illinois town, where they met the Goekens, so that’s how Sarah and Francine met. William and Helen are also both actors. And I will give something away here – I cannot stress enough how important William is going to be throughout the course of the story. In fact, aside from Sarah and Francine, I would go so far as to say that William is the most important character in the whole entire story. But you’ll have to wait and see what I mean by that.

~ Stetson Taylor is an actor, and is also Francine’s boyfriend/significant other. Yes, I know, strange name, that – Stetson – but it’s stuck, so that’s his name, so get over it.

~ Some of Sarah’s relatives are to be featured in the story: her uncle Tad, her step-aunt Mary, and her cousins Pauline and Sally. Tad is Thomas’ older brother. Pauline is Tad’s daughter; her real mother died when she was very young, and Tad was a single father for many years before he met and married Mary, which is why Mary is Sarah’s step-aunt. Tad, Mary, and Pauline all live in New York City (Queens Village, to be exact). Sally is one of Sarah’s cousins from Illinois who happens to be in the New York City area at the time of the story; Sally is in Coast Guard training (and I did have to look that up, and there are such facilities in NYC, so that’s that). So Tad, Mary, Pauline, and Sally serve as Sarah’s family connection while Sarah is in New York City. And here is something else I will give away, and unashamedly so – the characters of Sally and Pauline will be based off of my real-life cousins Gina and Melissa, respectively. So, yeah, Sarah, Sally, and Pauline are very close as cousins.

~ Sarah works at an insurance company for a living, at the same insurance company as her father, to be precise (he’s in underwriting, she’s in records). Sarah’s co-workers/friends in the records department are Ellen Wheeler, Julie Nichols, and Laurie Higgins.

~ Sarah, Julie, Ellen, and Laurie also make up part of an ‘unofficial’ band throughout the story – all the girls sing and play instruments. The rest of the ‘unofficial’ band members are three guys named Wilmer, Leon, and Paul. All three guys also sing and play instruments. And, yes, they are an ‘unofficial’ band. Most of them want to make it official, but Sarah is the lone holdout on that for the longest time. It makes for a slight running gag throughout the story. Spoiler alert – eventually, they do form an official band. But that happens later.

~ Sarah is also a part-time college student, and her English/writing instructor is Mrs. Jaice (pronounced ‘jay-cee’). Mrs. Jaice is very dear to Sarah. More to give away – Mrs. Jaice is going to be based off of a real-life creative writing instructor I once had.

~ The pastor of the small town church that Sarah and her parents attend is Father Mike. More to give away – this Father Mike is going to be based, unashamedly so, on the real-life late Father Mike O’Rourke, who meant a great deal to me when I was younger. (Oh, dear Father Mike, I miss you so, I love you so, and I wish you were still with us!)

Now, once the story moves to New York City, that’s when things get interesting. Because the people you will meet during the New York City section of the story are mostly going to be other actors or, in the case of two separate characters, a film director and a film producer.

~ Let’s start with Louisa Andrews, a fellow actress. She’s going to be really funny in a cynical way, very sarcastic, and she basically just tells it like it is, calls it as she sees it. So. She’ll be a blast. I can’t wait to write her, and I can’t wait for you to meet her.

~ Jacob Dreiser is another fellow actor. And, unfortunately, even though he plays the main character in the movies in question, I have somewhat given Jacob the token ‘thankless’ part in the story. Well, had to be someone. He does have his moments, but he’s really mostly in the background throughout.

~ As is Angelica, but she’s a little more important than Jacob. And, yes, she only goes by her first name; of course she has a last name, but she prefers not to use it. Angelica is Spanish in origin, and so is a big star in her native Spain, but this is her first American film(s), and that’s why she is a part of the story. Like Jacob, she does have her moments.

~ Tovey Jones is another fellow actor. I did not like Tovey at first as I was drawing up the outline and character backgrounds, and I thought he was going to be a real jerk throughout the whole story, but Tovey really surprised me, in that he turns out to be not so bad after all. If I do that specific moment just right, it’s gonna be freakin’ hysterical, let me tell you! But I won’t say anything more about it at present, as that would be giving something away.

~ Nora Mueller, another actress, is going to be insanely important as well, if the special nickname Sarah bestows upon her is any indication. I can’t wait for you to meet Nora. But that’s just it – you’ll have to wait. I will say that Nora and the Almays, who all hail from England, are very close friends; that’s another reason why Nora will be so important.

~ Likewise, fellow actor and Brit (actually an Aussie transplant) Hector Reali (pronounced ‘ree-alley’) is going to be important, too, in that he is also a close friend of the Almays and of Nora. And Sarah bestows a special nickname upon Hector as well. Can’t wait.

~ Actor Glenn Nottingham is also going to be very important. And that’s really all I am at leisure to say about that. Glenn is not only just an actor in the movies, but he is also one of the producers of the movies as well. And do not let the last name fool you – he is far from the bad guy in this story. Yup. Far from it.

~ The same cannot be said for Glenn’s young wife Aiya (pronounced ‘eye-ah’). But, again, that’s all I am at leisure to say about that.

~ Glenn and Aiya have a five-year-old son named Devlin. You will see him once or twice during the story. Being that he is so young, I would hope that he would be endearing to the reader, not annoying.

~ Bob Luckin is the writer/director of the movies. Bob is going to be weird, and no mistake. He’ll be fun, though.

~ Donald Lawrence is the other producer of the movies (along with Glenn). Yeah. You’re not really going to like Donald. And you’re not supposed to. Let’s just leave it at that.

~ And there is going to be one other character who is quite important. And that is Kennett. Kennett is a stray kitten that Sarah finds on the streets of New York City. Or, rather, Kennett finds Sarah. Sarah decides to keep Kennett. Or, rather, Kennett keeps Sarah. He’s going to be such a cutie cat; he has the personality of a little puppy when it comes to Sarah!

So. That’s that. Those are the characters as they stand in the story. I honestly and for truly cannot tell you any more without giving anything away.

In my last post, I mentioned the ‘soundtrack’ I have going for this story. And, in between that last post and now, as I post this, the ‘soundtrack’ has experienced some major changes as well. I indicated that Miranda Lee Richards had the distinction of having THE MOST IMPORTANT SONG IN THE WHOLE ENTIRE STORY, and she still does. However, since this story is based out of Illinois, I figured I’d better have a song from Peoria’s own Dan Fogelberg in there somewhere. And, lord, did I find the most appropriate song! I’ve posted it before – I’ll freely give that one away – so that song is going to be insanely important throughout the story. Ergo, it will be the second most important song in the whole entire story. And there has been one more addition to the soundtrack that took me totally by surprise – it’s a song that is played a lot around Christmas time in real life, so it will be featured around Christmas in the story as well, but it becomes a lot more important after Christmas. Little did Sarah realize how important that song would become….


I’ve often said that in terms of my writing, publication is not the ultimate goal. It’s always been more of a sense of accomplishment, whenever I write something to completion.

However. With this particular story, I think that, if I do it right and can get it to the right place and polished up and everything, I really think this stands a chance of being my first attempt at an official novel. I believe in the story that much, that it could see the publication light of day. For real.

Ah well. We’ll just have to wait and see.

Thanks for reading, and I’ll try to do better next post!


How it’s going; and declaring myself!

Hi, everyone!

So this past week, I was at my new job! And it’s going great thus far. Basically all I’m doing is boxing up files to be shipped and stored offsite, as well as a little bit of data entry onto a spreadsheet to track said files going offsite. It’s gone really well. I got about 90 boxes done this past week alone. The way I see it is, if I keep on going at the rate I’m going, I’ll have all the necessary files boxed up and ready to be shipped out within the duration of the job (remember, it’s only a 3 to 4 week job).

It’s also a job in two parts, so to speak. There are terminated files to box up and there are active files to box up. I’ve only been working on the terminated files so far. There’s a whole different procedure I’d have to follow when it comes to boxing and shipping the active files. So I want to get the terminated files all boxed up and shipped out before I tackle the active files.

Only problem with all this is, the company I’m working for only wants to make one lump sum payment to the shipping/storage company. So that means everything has to be boxed up and ready before I can have it shipped out. Doesn’t bode well, space-wise; it’s not a very big office, so there aren’t very many places to put the boxes once they’re ready. That’s the only thing I’m sort of annoyed about. Where I used to work in Iowa, we could box and ship out files as often as we pleased, without regard to cost. Guess it’s different here.

Oh well.

So, that’s the job. My prospects are still wide open for November; I put the bug in my recruiter’s ear that if she had any temporary prospects for the month of November to please keep me in mind. Hopefully something will come through because, as I’ve said, I could really use the money.

But speaking of November!

November, as you all know, is National Novel Writing Month, or NaNoWriMo for short.

And, right here and now, I am officially declaring myself to be an active participant in NaNoWriMo 2016.


Ta da! (Yeah, that’s all there is to declaring oneself, really.)

I am going to be working on “Cherchez La Femme” again, which has been my NaNo project the past couple years I’ve participated (which was 2013 and 2014; I didn’t participate in 2015). Here’s hoping the third time around is the charm for this story.

Here’s a little more backstory about “Cherchez La Femme,” in case you were interested. I got the initial idea for this story way back in 2003. So this story has been in development for the past 13 years, and that’s the truth. It went through a lot of different variations before I finally settled on what I’ve got going on with it right now. And I am definitely liking what I’ve got going on with it right now.

I don’t know if you remember my posting a majority of the short story a long time ago, but here’s a link to that previous post. I wrote the short story back in 2009 as part of a creative writing class in college.

Like I said in the post in the above link, the phrase “cherchez la femme” is a French phrase which translates to mean “look for the woman.” From what I gather, it’s associated more with noir stories and the like. I just liked the sound of it – “look for the woman.” The story is not going to be noir or anything like that, but I like the notion behind the phrase. So, that’s why it’s going to be called “Cherchez La Femme.” As I said, I’m too attached to the title to change it now. Plus, in the end, if I do it right, it will make perfect sense.

The story has to do with Francine and Sarah, two girls who have been best friends since they were about four years old. Francine is a famous actress, and Sarah isn’t, yet they’re still best friends. *shrug* I’ve just always wanted to write a story about something like that. So, again, ta da!

And, yes, Francine is still based on a well-known real-life British actress, but I am still not going to tell you who that actress is. But not like you couldn’t figure it out. It still isn’t Emma Watson, though, so don’t think her.

Like I said in a previous post, I like where the outline has gone (and it’s no longer about 80 pages anymore; now it’s about 90 pages, and still subject to change). There are going to be no loose ends, everything will come together nicely, and in the case of one particular development in the story there will be no wasted moments. Plus, I like where some of the characters are going. There is one particular character who is going to be sooooo very important throughout the story, and I cannot wait to write him.

Plus the ‘soundtrack’ I’ve got going is killer. I say ‘soundtrack’ in quotes, because it’s mainly for inspiration sake, as to why I put together a ‘soundtrack.’

Here’s a breakdown of the ‘soundtrack’:

~ There are 11 ABBA songs (as Francine and Sarah basically grew up with ABBA);
~ There are 7 Neko Case songs (as she is my most favorite singer of all time, duh!);
~ There are 6 Miranda Lee Richards songs (and one of those songs is basically THE MOST IMPORTANT SONG IN THE WHOLE ENTIRE STORY, so it HAS to be in there; I am so glad I kept the song in the story, and I’m very pleased as to where, exactly, I will have it featured);
~ There are 2 Queen songs (because Queen, being my favorite band, needed to be represented somehow!);
~ There are 2 songs by A Fine Frenzy;
~ There are 2 songs by The Wreckers;
~ There is 1 song apiece from each of the following artists: Phil Collins, Keane, Pharrell, Beth Orton, Duran Duran, Diane Birch, Unfinished Thought, Eliza Carthy, and Shea Seger; and
~ One of the songs, which I included solely for inspiration sake, is from “Repo! The Genetic Opera.” If you’re familiar with that movie, it’s the song “Chase the Morning,” sung by Sarah Brightman and Alexa Vega. I actually haven’t seen that movie in quite a while, but the other day, it inspired me, so I included it in the ‘soundtrack.’ Ah-mazing!

There’s more to the ‘soundtrack,’ but that’s basically the gist of it.

One of the ABBA songs I have featured, as well as the Duran Duran song I chose – I actually really truly dislike those two songs. But, they work for the story, hence why I have included them in the ‘soundtrack.

If I do it right, it is going to be amazing!

At least, I hope it will be.

So. November approaches.

We’ll see.

That’s it for now. I’ll try to do better next post!

So. What’s happenin’?

Hiya, guys!

I know, it’s been a couple weeks. But there have been some interesting things going on since I last posted.

First of all, I finally got a job! Starting October 3rd, I will be working as a file clerk at a local insurance company here in Idaho. The hours are 8:30 am to 5 pm (MST), Monday through Friday.

The one downside is, it is a temporary job. And I mean it is a very temporary job – it’s only going to be a 3 to 4 week job. Though there is the possibility of extension at the end of the 3 to 4 weeks. I hope an extension will be offered, because I could certainly use the money, and no mistake. So, even though I will be set for employment for the month of October, I still have November and December to worry about, so I am still looking for jobs.

Speaking of money. I have started to look at everything realistically, and it has become painfully clear to me that, come December, there is really going to be no way I will be able to go back to and remain in Henderson, NV. I mean, a lot could happen between now and December. But, most likely, I will have to move back in with family in Iowa. I’m not entirely happy about that, because I really wanted to strike out on my own this time. But, at the same time, I’m not entirely sad about that. Because I can and will still go through with all my plans – you know, going back to college to become a counselor, getting my own apartment, getting my driver’s license. It won’t change anything, really, other than I still feel that my future doesn’t truly lie in Iowa. So. Think of it as a temporary setback. Perhaps one day, I can pack up and move to Henderson, or wherever. The future is wide open, really. It’s all good. It will all be good.

Remember when I said I’d gotten some news I didn’t want about a particular family member? Well, I have since gotten worse news about said family member. But I do not, repeat, do not want to discuss it here on the blog at the present time. Everyone who needs to know about it knows about it. That will have to do for now. I certainly hope that would suffice for you as well.

On a brighter note, I have a new/old celebrity crush again. It’s Nicolas Cage. Again. *silly grin* Sorry, but it’s true. Although, I do feel really bad about what has happened between him and his wife (if, indeed, that is the truth). I don’t wish to seem rude or naysaying when I say that, given some things I’d read in the past, I had a feeling that might happen eventually. But it’s still a bad deal, and I hope they can either reconcile or get through whatever happens relatively unscathed, especially for benefit of their son. So. That’s that. Not gonna say any more. Actually, I’m sorry to have said anything in the first place. But I’m not taking any of it back. Best wishes to you, Mr. Cage, and to your family. I sincerely hope everything works out.

On a different brighter note, I don’t know if you remember my once going on about a particular story idea I’d been working on. Remember “Cherchez La Femme”? Yeah. I am actually on the precipice, and am thisclose to actually begin to seriously start writing that story. The rough outline I’ve been working on exploded from about 20 pages to about 80 pages now. I like where it is going, what I have planned. I like that there are not any loose ends and, in the case of one particular development within the story, there are not going to be any wasted moments. And I have a soundtrack in mind for it, and I love all the songs therein. I am glad for the inspiration. I really want this story to work, and I hope it can and does eventually come to fruition.

As I type this, Iowa has been inundated with flooding concerns. They say it’s not going to be on par with the flood of 2008, but it will be pretty darn close. Last I read, the Cedar River at Cedar Rapids was going to crest at about 25 to 26 feet, which would cause some pretty major flooding in the downtown area. Please keep my family and all the people in the affected area in your thoughts and prayers.

And, really, that’s about all that’s been going on.

So, you know, that’s what’s happenin’.

I’ll try to do better next post.

How goes it in Idaho?; and other things

This is just a post to update all on how things are going out here in Idaho.

Basically I’ve been passing the time scouring the web and applying for jobs.

Yeah, I still do not have a job yet. Everyone’s saying “Give yourself time, give yourself time.” “You’ve only been there two weeks.” Yeah, two weeks. I think I have the job market in this particular city pretty much entirely applied for, whether it be in sales or administrative or, god forbid, food services. I have heard back from a couple places, but, obviously, they were ‘thanks but no thanks’ e-mails. Red Lobster sort of really ticked me off – not more than five minutes after I completed my application, I got the ‘thanks but no thanks’ e-mail. It’s like, ‘Did they even read it?!?’ But oh well. Maybe next week, something will happen. Here’s hoping. I don’t want to sound desperate, but I really do need a job, and soon.

I’ve been out and about in the meantime, though not going very far. I’ve taken a couple walks, only for about half an hour or so. It’s nice here, very nice. The weather is very similar to Gardnerville, in that it is high desert plains. So there’s heat but no humidity, and at night it gets as low as 40 degrees. Good thing I brought my blankets, and all my jeans. Just the other day, we experienced a rather heavy rainstorm for all of about 20 minutes, complete with thunder and lightning, and the power went out for about an hour as a result of that storm. I wanted to go out and dance in the rain, but I didn’t. Wish I had. The local weatherman called it a ‘severe storm,’ and I entirely disagreed with him; that was just a little storm, nowhere near severe.

It’s nice to be here with Dad. We’ve got a couple weekend trips already planned. We might be going to see my uncle Paul down in Utah one weekend. Another weekend, we’re going to see the Grand Tetons in Wyoming. And I might, might, be going to my very first concert ever, in October, because a progressive band named Bent Knee is coming to Salt Lake City, and Dad it a huge fan of theirs. And then, of course, there’s always NFL football to watch on Sundays. No, I’ve already been informed that, if there is a Green Bay Packer game on that isn’t going to be locally shown (long story), we will be going to the local Buffalo Wild Wings to have drinks and appetizers and to watch the entire Packer game. And that, actually, honestly, sounds like fun. It’s been a while since I watched the Packers – the only Packer player I’m familiar with is the quarterback Aaron Rodgers.

And next up is more driving practice, and eventually getting my driver’s license. I hope to do that here, in Idaho. In fact, while I was on the Greyhound bus heading here two weeks ago, I sent an e-mail to a local driving instruction school, asking if they would be able to help me with a ‘refresher’ type course. I heard back from them, and they would be more than happy to help. So. That’s on the horizon. Apparently, the city I am currently in uses the exact same route for each and every driving test they issue. So the driving instructor I spoke to said she would be able to let me drive that route during our future lessons, so that way, when it came time for me to take the actual test, I’d be comfortable with the route. That’s pretty cool.

So. That’s what’s going down here in Idaho at the present time.

And now just a couple other things.

I miss Johnny. I miss him so much. I just….I do. I really do miss him, so very much. I feel empty, and lonely without him near. But we’ve been talking and texting, so, you know, that’s good.

My future plans are as follows:

~ Upon mid-December, I will have decided as to whether or not to 1) stay here in Idaho; 2) move back to Iowa; or 3) move back to Henderson, NV. Everything within my being is saying to move back to Henderson, so that is my tentative plan. Finances will tell.

~ No matter where I end up, I intend to enroll in school again, to try for a degree in counseling. I’ve been looking mainly at schools in the Henderson area, specifically Nevada State College and the College of Southern Nevada. Both of them offer psychology and/or counseling programs. College of Southern Nevada, though, also has a bonus of a creative writing program as well; didn’t see such a course offered at Nevada State. So. That might play a role in my decision. But wherever I end up, I want to try for counseling.

~ Enrolling in school might be helpful when it comes time to finding a place to live. Most likely, it’d be an apartment. I am thinking of either a studio apartment or just a one-bedroom apartment. Depends.

So. That’s what all is going down, both in the present and in the future.

I’ll try to do better next post.

Friday “Neighbor Pains” Funny

Sorry to leave you like I did yesterday.

But, you know, I am depressed at the moment. I’m not going to say otherwise. It’s not worth it to lie.

Anyway. That’s neither here nor there. I’ll try not to mention it again.

I did find a Friday Funny, though. Yes, you’ll be happy to know that the Friday Funny is back!

This is an episode of “Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends.” It’s called “Neighbor Pains.” In it, the Home is holding an Adopt-A-Thought Saturday, only this particular Adopt-A-Thought Saturday isn’t going so well….

The best bit has to be the ‘Orlando Bloo’ bit. Keith Ferguson, who voices Bloo in the first place, does a great voice for ‘Orlando Bloo.’ You have to see it and hear it.

“Don’t forget Boopsy, Flopper, Stupid, and Ding-Dong!” Hilarious!

The second best bit is between Bloo and Jackie Khones, right after Bloo jumps out the window. It’s a blink-and-you-miss-it moment, but it’s pretty funny.

You have to click the link to see the cartoon, and it’s about halfway down the page.

Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends – “Neighbor Pains”


Enjoy! And Happy Friday!

A questionnaire, and a “secret”

You’ll have to forgive the….well, I guess, abruptness that may be apparent in this post. I’ve not had the best past couple days, as you may know if you read my previous posts.

But I thought I’d just do this, just to do it.

And please please please do watch the little video at the end. I didn’t know about it until I saw it mentioned by several other people, and it made me cry some more.



Are you “with” the very last person you kissed?
~ No. Not anymore. It was my fault. Let’s just leave it at that.

Ever dated/kissed someone with the name Casey, Tyler, Ryan, Jordan, Colton, Rebecca, Samantha, Lauren, Taylor, or Ashley?
~ Nope, to all.

Was your last kiss standing up, sitting down, or lying down?
~ Standing up.

Are you happy with the choices you’ve made?
~ No. Not all of them.

Are you excited for anything?
~ Not really at the moment.

Do you hate the last person you kissed?
~ No. I could never hate Johnny. Like I said, Johnny is the best thing that ever happened to me, the best person I could have ever met. I wish him nothing but the very best, and I will always love Johnny.

You’re stuck in an elevator with one of your worst enemies. What do you do?
~ Nothing.

Will this weekend be a good one?
~ Depends.

Are you mad at someone right now?
~ Just myself.

Do you like to listen to the radio in the car?
~ Sure.

Do you sleep with a fan on?
~ Not at present, though I think this weekend at the store, I will purchase a small fan, just to have it running as like white noise, so that way I can fall asleep. I’ve been having trouble sleeping the past couple weeks.

How is your hair right now?
~ I don’t really care.

Have you ever broken up with someone for someone else?
~ No.

How many windows are open on your computer?
~ 3.

How tall are you?
~ 5-feet, 4.5-inches.

Is something bothering you?
~ Yup. Lots of things. Don’t really feel like talking about them right now, though.

Have you ever taken a shower with anyone before?
~ Yes.

Have you ever laughed at something that wasn’t meant to be funny?
~ Probably, but I don’t remember.

Have you ever told someone of the opposite sex “Fuck you”?
~ No, but I had ever opportunity to do so; this was back in the bullying days.

Do you like to cuddle?
~ Yes.

Have you done anything sneaky lately?
~ No.

Is your hair clean?
~ Does it matter?

Last night, did you go to sleep smiling?
~ No.

Were you happy when you woke up today?
~ No.

What are you drinking right now?
~ Nothing.

Do you wear your seatbelt in the car?
~ All the time.

Does someone have feelings for you?
~ I don’t really know anymore. I hope so, though.

Have you ever been cheated on?
~ No.

Are you hard to please?
~ No, not really.

What are you craving right now?
~ A hug!

How are you feeling right now?
~ Not good. Depressed. I’m actually crying right now, typing this. Depression.

What are you sick of?
~ Depression!

Are you missing anyone/something?
~ Yes!

Relationship to the last person you called?
~ The last person I called was my mother, so I’d be her daughter.

Could you date someone shorter than you?
~ N/A.

Is there anybody you just wish would fall of the planet?
~ No. I wouldn’t wish that on anybody.

Do you wear glasses?
~ Yes.

Where did you sleep last night?
~ On the air mattress.

Do you straighten your hair?
~ No.

What color shirt are you wearing?
~ Purple. It’s actually my nightshirt.

Do you have a best friend?
~ Yes, in Johnny.

Do you wish you had the chance to go back in time and change something now?
~ YES!

Who is the last person you got a text from?
~ Johnny.

Are you excited for winter?
~ That remains to be seen.

When are you at your happiest?
~ Happiness seems a bit far lately. Ask me again sometime.

Is there anything you wish you did today? Why haven’t you done it?
~ I wish I had a job, so that way I could be working. As far as today, I wish I would have gone out and danced in the rain, like I wanted to. But then, I didn’t want to soak the carpet when I got back inside, so I stayed inside.

Do you prefer to spend your time indoors or outdoors?
~ I like both.

What were you doing before you started this survey?
~ Crying. Still crying.

Can you honestly say that you love yourself?
~ Don’t know anymore.

How many people have you kissed?
~ Other than family members on the cheek, just Johnny.

Do you just feel awkward when you dance?
~ Of course. I have no rhythm.

Do you think you spend too much time feeling upset?
~ Probably. Par for the course with depression.

Is there anyone you would seriously punch right now if you had the chance?
~ Donald Trump.

Do you own a pair of Uggs?
~ No.

What are your plans for tomorrow?
~ Look for more jobs, maybe make another blog post. Try to find a Friday Funny….maybe.

Has the person you have feelings for ever told you that you’re attractive?
~ Yes, but that was then. This is now.

Can you get over people easily?
~ Currently, no.

Do you believe that there are certain circumstances where cheating is okay?
~ No.

How was your weekend?
~ I don’t remember what happened last weekend.

Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you?
~ No.

How do you feel right now?
~ Not good. Depressed. I’m actually crying right now, typing this. Depression.

Do you hide your feelings or show them?
~ I show them. I have always shown them. I’m not weak, okay? It takes a stronger person to show their feelings rather than to hide them. Showing your feelings takes a kind of strength. Not that I’ve always worn my heart on my sleeve, as the saying goes, but I am not the kind of person to hide how I feel.

Do you like to have long hair or short hair?
~ Medium.

What is the last thing you cooked today?
~ Fish sticks. But then I wasn’t really all that hungry, so even though I ate them, I didn’t want to eat them. You know?

What do you always take with you?
~ Everything, metaphorically speaking. I have a lot of baggage.

Last person you drove around in a car with?
~ Dad.

Do you think relationships are hard?
~ Yes. But I’d rather be in one than not in one. That doesn’t matter now, seeing as how I am no longer in one. But I’d still rather be in one.

What are your plans for this weekend?
~ Don’t know. It’s Labor Day weekend this weekend, as Dad reminded me today. I’d forgotten all about Labor Day.

Any friends who are constantly venting about their significant other?
~ No. I don’t have any friends, except for Johnny.

Have you ever been ice-skating?
~ Yes. Best Christmas Eve ever.

Does the sound of rain at night help you sleep?
~ Yes.

Have you ever seen an albino person in person?
~ No.

Do you like Fuze drinks?
~ No.

Did the end of “Hamilton” make you sad?
~ Have never seen “Hamilton.”

Have you ever worn a pair of scrubs?
~ No.

Do you obsessively apply lip-gloss or lip balm?
~ No. It’s reasonably applied.

Anything in your room that you’re hiding from your parents or someone else?
~ No.

Do you think you’d have what it takes to shoot someone if you had to protect yourself?
~ No.

What’s your most noticeable flaw?
~ Everything.

And what’s your best feature?
~ Don’t really have one.

Have you ever walked into a massive cobweb?
~ Yes.

When you can tell that someone’s lying, do you call them out on it?
~ Not usually.

Have you ever hallucinated?
~ No.

Do you find serial killers fascinating?
~ No.

Do you like musicals?
~ Some.

Is your hair damaged?
~ Probably.

Do you live with anyone that you try to avoid at all costs?
~ No.

Who was the last person you threw out of your life?
~ I haven’t.

Are you wearing socks?
~ Not at present.

Do you regret something you did yesterday?
~ Not yesterday.

When was the last time you cried?
~ I’m crying right now.

Why were you crying?
~ Too many thoughts.

What’s the last thing you ate?
~ A cookie.

What kind of bottoms are you wearing?
~ My pajama bottoms.  They match my pajama top, in case you were wondering.

What do you hear right now?
~ Nothing except the keys clacking as I type.

How many hours did you sleep last night?
~ Don’t remember. Perhaps that means I did actually sleep last night….

Is something bothering you right now?
~ Yes. Too much, in fact.

In the past week, have you gotten sick?
~ No. But I do currently have cramps, as it is that time of month. TMI, for sure, but, hey, the question was asked.

In the past week, have you felt stupid?
~ Yep.

In the past week, have you got your hair cut?
~ No.

What were you doing at 9 AM this morning?
~ Curling up on the sofa for a nap. True story.

In the past week, have you felt sad?
~ All week.

Has someone disappointed you recently?
~ No.

Do you think relationships are ever really worth it?
~ Yes.

If you could pack up and move, would you?
~ Yes. In December – that might be my next and perhaps final move.

Do you hate when people smoke around you?
~ Yes.

Who have you texted in the last 24 hours?
~ Johnny and Dad.  In fact, Johnny and I are texting right now.

So ends that questionnaire.

In closing, I leave you with this, a “secret,” courtesy of the late great Gene Wilder as the Fox from the 1974 movie “The Little Prince.” Like I said, I knew nothing about this particular movie until I saw several others mention it after Wilder’s passing. Only just today, I gathered up the courage to watch the relevant section of the movie that featured the Fox, and, like I said, it made me cry. So.

But the “secret” is true:


I’ll try to do better next post.

Tune for Tuesday – Dan Fogelberg, “Ever On”

August 2016 has not been the easiest month for me.

They say “bad things happen in threes.” And they did this month.

First, there was my and Johnny’s mutual break-up. Which is still somewhat difficult to speak of so, for benefit of both myself and Johnny, I won’t.

Then, I got some news I didn’t want, regarding a family member. And it is not something I wish to discuss here on the blog at the present time. Everyone who needs to know about it knows about it. That’s all for now on that.

Finally, yesterday, the world learned of the passing of the legendary Gene Wilder. I made a post about that yesterday.

So, yeah, the month of August hasn’t been the easiest for me.

Yet, I have faith and hope that all will turn out all right in the end.

So while I continue to grieve, for all that has occurred, I will always hope for the best.

Off the beaten path for a moment, sharing this particular story. I don’t know if I’ve ever told you this, but when my father was in high school, he played saxophone in the high school band. And his high school band teacher was none other than Larry Fogelberg, Dan Fogelberg’s father. So, yes, my father really did know Dan Fogelberg.

And this is one of my favorite Dan Fogelberg songs ever.

Fogelberg described the song as “a prayer for all of us on our journey.”

In terms of my journey at this time, it encompasses everything about this month, from Johnny to family to Gene Wilder, and all that could possibly happen in future, wherever it will lead me.

And forever faith and hope. Ever faith and hope. Always faith and hope.

From his 1990 album “The Wild Places,” this is (Peoria’s own) Dan Fogelberg with “Ever On.”

May the trail rise up to meet you
May your heart rejoice in song
May the skies be fair above you
As you journey ever on

Ever on, ever on
Ever on, ever on

In this planetary circle
We are but a single stone
Spinning on our fragile axis
Through the endless night alone

Ever on, ever on
Ever on, ever on

May your love be there to guide us
May it always keep us strong
May we walk within your footsteps
As you lead us ever on

Ever on, ever on
Ever on, ever on
Ever on, ever on
Ever on, ever on


Ever on….